She is coming back, my heart is happy and the house is clean. Luckily it takes about 5 minutes to clean. I just pray for her safe return. In my heart I have a new strength to do what I feel is right. I stop and look at the choices, and listen to my heart. Thank you Lord.

Today was very hard, I found myself very sensitive. Mostly about my girlfriend, who is from Spain. I do not want to take her from her home. I also realize that I have been very honest about my life and the road that I must walk to get it right again. I love her very much, but must remain with the door open for her. The choice is hers to make, and I have to ok with the choice if she makes it to leave. My heart hurts, but in the end I know that if I trust the Lord that the right choice will be made. I trust that with all my heart. For it is my heart that is on the block. I pray, and I continue to my day the best way that I know how. Thank you Lord.

I really love my children. My youngest, sitting on my lap watching a movie..."Goonies" laughs with the abandon that only a child could. He pulls me into his youth, and I dont want to let go. I experience every moment with him, loving him more and more, to my amazement. Because I thought that I loved him with everything that I had, but it grows and matures and changes all the time. I just pray that I can spend more time with him and his brothers, there is so much to do and show them and experience through their perception. I love my children, and I want to be the best father possible with them, I look forward to experiencing their own families. Thank you Lord for this precious precious gift. Let me do as you would with them and get through the times that are not so fun. I know that steel is tempered in the fire, I just pray that the fire is kind and that we have the strength to get through it....Thank you Lord. Also, I have found woman that makes me truly happy. I would love to keep her, let me be the man that she needs in her life.....